should it stay or should it go?

my hair, that is. all my life i've wanted long beautiful hair. it just doesn't grow. this is the longest it's been in a long time. and it doesn't get to the point of beautiful either. so, once again, i get it to this point and i want to chop it off. what do you think i should do? i have in my mind what i want, but i've never been brave enough to do it...i think i'm gonna do it!.....stay tuned......

WELCOME HOME MY SON!

Yep. He made it home safely. He's doing well. Can I just say that it is AWESOME having him home. I love seeing him every morning and having his sweet spirit in our home again. Sorry, I know he probably should be out there working for Heavenly Father, but I'm the mom and I love having him home...

Happy Sadness

When Brandon left, part of my heart left with him. How can one feel such conflicted feelings all at the same time? Such extreme joy and pride and total heart wrenching sadness all at once, until you feel like your heart is going to explode. I see missionaries at Wal-Mart almost every day. When he first left, and I'd see them I would get teary-eyed and my heart would ache. Slowly I started bursting with pride when I'd see them and sometimes shed a tear of joy at the thought of how awesome he was doing. My heart would flutter every time no matter what. For the last two weeks I'm back to the teary-eyed stage and my heart tugs a little. Well, it kind of tugs a lot. I wonder how my son will adjust back into the real world again and will his decision always haunt him? Will his heart-strings tug every time he sees missionaries, for the rest of his life? Or will it be okay? I think it will be okay. I will always remind him that he served an honorable mission, though not as long as some, and his mission will continue for the rest of his life. My heart is so full right now, as I'm sobbing, anticipating putting my arms around him in 3 days. I'm so happy at the thought of seeing him again, yet so sad for what he is giving up. Ouch. I don't know if my heart can handle this again, so soon. It was just barely starting to heal from him leaving. I will always get a warm fuzzy feeling when I see the missionaries because my son was one, a really good one, and he will always be one. My family will be complete again, and sadly, I'm happy...

What's A Mother to do Part 2....

Well, if you recall, the first letter I got from Brandon when he had just settled into Alabama was pretty scary. He assured me not to worry because he "... would be killed before he was raped so it's all good..." I didn't think that was very funny and have worried about his safety as he has been serving in that same area since Nov. and not been transferred yet. As time has gone on I have learned not to worry as much and felt at peace that he is in the Lord's hands. When I blogged about getting his disturbing letter, I called it; 'What's a Mother to do?' Well, I am sad to announce that my sweet Missionary boy will be returning home from his mission Thursday the 19th of March. I am not exactly sure why, and I have only known for about a week, but from what I understand it is because he wants to and is not being sent home. So I ask you once again, "What's a mother to do?" I'm serious. Somebody please tell me. I know without a shadow of doubt that he was happy and loved being on a mission. He loves the people and they love him. He had a baptism a couple weeks ago and has another one scheduled this weekend. I don't know if he is just really homesick or what, but I do know that he has put alot of thought into this decision because he knows what he faces in coming home. We have all tried to encourage him to stay, via e-mail, but I guess his mind is made up. Now I get to worry once again about his safety in this crazy world and his well-being in this economy. He doesn't even have a car and I had given up my Sequoia to pay for his mission. We're trying to figure out how to pay for Elise to go to college and there is no way I can pay for him too. Anyway, sorry, I'm kind of thinking out loud here. All I know is that we love him and are proud of him for the things he has accomplished in these 5 months, and will welcome him home with open arms. I am thankful he has had this opportunity, as short as it may have been, he learned a great deal and grew and changed and will be a better person for it. His patriarchal blessing says that he "...will fulfill a great and glorious mission here on earth..." so I guess his misssion will be finished here at home. Who knows what the Lord has planned for him. I do know that he is destined for greatness. This is a picture of him the morning we left him at the MTC. I can't help but wonder what is going through his head. Thank you so much everyone for all your love and support. Your prayers will still be needed and appreciated. I have cried so much this last week that I'm all dried up.